A Guide to Being Sick

By Jenna Remley

 Note: This was originally published on December 6, 2018, through the now-defunct Tinyletter service. Minor edits have been made to the original.

    I started working as a 1st Grade Teaching Assistant in August of this year. I've worked in elementary classrooms before, but never for this many hours, consistently, every week. I was warned about the onslaughts of pathogens. "I was sick for my whole first year of teaching," my supervisor at another job told me. "But now it's been years since I've had a cold." Working in a school is like a gauntlet - you will suffer at first, but eventually your red blood cells will be hardened warriors, capable of fending off any threat. I knew from experience that seven-year-olds were not the most hygienic. I tried to prepare myself, keeping hand sanitizer at my desk and using it liberally. But it wasn't enough.

     I've been sick, or "getting over a cold," for the majority of the past three months. This is my life now. I've failed to prevent it, so I can't give you advice there (besides "don't work in an elementary school"), but I have picked up some wisdom about the process of being sick, so I'll impart that on to you. Hopefully it will ease some of your suffering if you ever find yourself in my position.

1. Get lotion tissues. At the early signs of a head cold, buy them immediately. You will be blowing your nose a lot, and this will cause the skin around your nose to become red and dry and tender. Lotion tissues will minimize this. If you still end up with sore, flaky skin, use petroleum jelly to sooth it.
   
   
2. Humidity is great, but powerful. Hot, humid air is a great natural decongestant and is soothing to dry-feeling noses and throats, so using a humidifier or vaporizer in your room is a great idea. However, do be aware that if you have posters and other paper-based decorations taped on your walls, significantly increasing the humidity in the room will cause them to wrinkle and warp, and will also make the tape holding them up less effective. So if you have, for example, prized posters from concerts or live podcasts, or sentimentally-valuable maps of various European cities taped up on your wall, don't go too heavy on the humidifier. Learn from my mistakes. Instead maybe try a steam inhaler.
   After the warped-poster fiasco I tried to borrow one from my mother, as I remember using it as a child. Unfortunately she was unable to find it, so now I just suffer breathing in dry air.
   
   
3. Honey Herb is the best flavor of Ricola, but Honey Lemon with Echinacea is a good second choice.
   
   
4. Gatorade. I had assumed that this sports drink was sugar water that did nothing good for your health. However, when I got sick for the first time at this job, ending up with the worst sore throat of my life and completely losing my voice, my doctor actually recommended that I drink some. Partially because I was dehydrated, as I had been avoiding drinking anything since swallowing hurt so much, but also because of "electrolytes." Apparently this is not just a buzzword used in sports drink marketing, but a thing that can actually benefit your health. After that doctor's appointment I went to the store to buy a variety of fluids to fill up on, and I picked up some Cool Blue Gatorade as well. And I swear to god, for some reason it was less painful to swallow. And it tasted good, and it looked like Windex, and it's been a staple sickness drink for me ever since.

So I hope if you find yourself weathering a cold, or living in a constant state of having a cold like me, you can ever-so-slightly mitigate your suffering by using some of these tips. Well wishes, thanks for reading, and remember to get your flu shot.